Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Happy F@#*in' New Year!


10. The Writer's Strike is still ruining late night TV.
9. Richard Cheese was only on CNN with Anderson Cooper for about 2 minutes New Year's Eve, who subjected us to the nonstop inane lunatic ravings of Kathy Griffin instead. Can you say "trainwreck?"
8. After months of trying to perfect the selection process, most of the BCS Bowls have been one sided blowouts and the NCAA National Champion will likely yield another also-ran, mediocre, so-called "championship" team- again.
7. And speaking of football, just what will it take for Bill Parcells to stay retired? Ricky Williams sharing his bud stash, so coach has to get on "Weight Watchers" again? And how will the hapless Dolphins perform for their new "Tuna in Chief?" I thought they were trying to keep the Dolphins out of Tuna nets! 1-15 in '07, will make the huge leap to 3-13 in '08.
6. Another little Spears child will be brought into the world- have we not suffered enough already?
5. STILL no Chinese Democracy.
4. Sean Connery will NOT reprise his role as Harrison Ford's father in this year's Indiana Jones movie. Unfortunately, however, Sylvester Stallone will both star in and direct the latest installment of Rambo, due out later this month. Hey, have I showed you my Terry Kath impression?
3. No more Harry Potter books, just when they were starting to get interesting!
2. Anheuser Busch (the people that bring you Buttwiper, the King O' Beers) has bought Dominion Brewing Company, discontinued several of its signature beers and ales already, and threatens to destroy what was Virginia's oldest (and best!) microbrewery.
1. Barring a miracle, we still have 385 days left until the end of the Bush-Cheney Administration. Wake me up when it's over.

For more reasons to lament, wail, and gnash your teeth (as if you needed any!), go to our links page and click on The cheery thoughts offered there should have you out on the ledge or your head in the oven in no time!


1600 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
1600 said...

On the other hand,
the mighty NEW YORK GIANTS upset the Patriots in Super Bowl XLII! Diappointing end of an otherwise perfect season for Tom Brady and Bill Bellichick. Awwwwwww. I know a lot of people all over the world were pulling for the two touchdown underdog, and this victory didn't surprise or disappoint me at all! The former Republican front-runner, Rudy Giuliani, would have gotten a whole lot more mileage out of backing Eli than he did pandering to the Red Sox! No wonder he's already out of the race. Traitor.
Perhaps this is an omen portending changing tides for our great country? A metaphor for victory for the common man? The American political scene coalesced into a 60 minute sporting event??
Maybe. It was a hell of a game, for sure!
Now, to paraphrase the old Hertz commercials, "Go, 'Bama, go!"