Monday, January 12, 2009

New Year's Hangover

Somewhere, Guy Lombardo is laughing at my pain.
Happy New Year to you, too- funny hat and all.

Too much cheap champagne last week, and I'm feelin' it. Ouch. Nothing says New Year's Day like blow out college bowl games, leftovers, and sweepin' up confetti, detritus, and broken glass- and that was just on the couch. D'oh!

So I stayed up to watch the Big Crystal Ball drop, fittingly enough at the hands of those wacky Clinton kids, Bill and Hill. Let's hope this is the last ball that gets dropped by the presumptive next Secretary of State- Condi's dropped enough of 'em the last 4 years to last a lifetime. And listened to Dick Clark slurring his quasi-intelligible New Year's greetings to the world, along with world class waste of oxygen, Ryan Seacrest. That very thought of that preening, tasteless ham could drive me to self-immolation after about 30 seconds.

And the Jon-ass Brothers? Fergie? The Pussycat Dolls? Taylor Swift? Fall Out Boy? Carrie Underwear? PLEASE! Their demographic won't be allowed to stay up until midnight for several years, or at least until they're fully potty trained! And Lionel Richie, for cryin' out loud! Not even a Commodores reunion! That guy hasn't made a hit record since Ford introduced the Pinto. You call that "Rockin'?" Maybe if you're in a rockin' chair, or perhaps on life support. I guess Dick couldn't get anyone more uptempo, like Perry Como or 101 Strings?? I had to turn it off quickly, before the urge to put my head in the oven overwhelmed me...

And while I truly enjoyed my all too brief and infrequent time off, this was certainly not the way to start the year off. A green Christmas followed by freezing cold, gray skies. No snowmen, snow angels, snowball fights or similar seasonal relief in sight. The tree's drying out and she3dding needles, and has to come down this weekend, before the cats can break any ornaments. 3 more long, nightmarish weeks of George W (which I finally learned stands for "What, Me Worry?") Bush, and his "legacy" (more bailouts, Medals of Freedom, and 11th hour pardons). The inauguration, just days away now, seems like an eternity and the new guy's gonna have his hands full, trying to dig us out of the hole excavated for us by our friends in Washington and their billionaire contributors over the last eight years. He's gonna need help, and lots of it. Fortunately, Obama calls in Spidey to save the day! What, you were expecting maybe Captain America? (Too late! He's pushing up daisies.) BAM! Bin Laden spits teeth. THWIPP! Spidey webs Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevitch's mouth shut! POW! Con man Bernie Madoff takes one on the chin! SLAM! The cell doors close on Henry Paulson for aiding and abetting in the biggest swindle in history. If only it were that simple.......*sigh*

And any glimmer of improvement, or something to look forward to, was brought crashing down to the depths of despair this weekend as the Giants flinched and Philadelphia overwhelmed them in a bruising, old school NFC East knuckle duster. The only ray of hope here is that the team should come back mostly intact and healthy next season. It's a long way to training camp in July...guess I'll have to console myself with a bottle of bourbon and my DVD of Super Bowl XLII and think about next year!

Oh, well. Back to the drawing board. The 1600 crew wish you a Happy New Year and many more. We're already hard at work, lining up that next cadre of great guests and getting the inside word on what is in store for us this year, from new recordings, to tours, to the special projects and events that will shape 2009! And Fairfax Public Access (FPA) turns 25 this year, so keep tuned in to find out about what you can do to help us celebrate a quarter century of service! See our links page to find out more. And keep those cards and letters coming in!
The piano's been drinking, not me. Belch!

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